Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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