I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize