We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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