Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize