I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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