i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize