you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Everything about him screamed your future.
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I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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