Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just tell him i said nine months
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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