i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize