Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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