Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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