I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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