I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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