I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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