I stole so many things from the ER last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize