He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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