Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
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Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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