I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize