I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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