Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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