Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize