Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize