I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize