I'd wear matching sweaters with you
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize