where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize