The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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