You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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