I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize