quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize