1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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