i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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