Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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