Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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