Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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