another moral hangover. fuck.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize