you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize