so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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