Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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