I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Vodka?
Forever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize