Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
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He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
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I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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