Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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