dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize