not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize