Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize