Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize