you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize