I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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