So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize