I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize