oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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