i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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